The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 8 - Number 16
September 22, 2007
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The Substitute The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! Visit Nancy at www.belovedembroidery.com. 
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
The accident occured when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeard in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
A pedestrian hit me and then he went under my vehicle.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over. |
Rockwell Collector Plates Norman Rockwell plates make wonderful gifts for the Holidays. We invite you to browse our wide selection of themes to find just the right one. Priced right! Ideal Impressions © Start your holiday shopping now and enjoy 30% OFF select gifts!!! Colorado Walking Sticks Hand carved and personalized walking sticks carved from Colorado Aspen. QFLEA members 10 percent discount. Great Gifts for birthdays, Christmas. Treats from the 45th Parallel Holidays are coming!!! Treat your loved one. Give them a Breakfast is in the Bag, with 1lb Easy Morning Pancake Mix (just add water) and 2 jugs of Pure Maple Syrup in a cloth gift bag. They will love it. Get yours today. Keep Me In Stitches Just in time for Christmas!! 10% off almost everything on the site (excludes t-shirts and sweatshirts). Order now! EmuOil4Sale.com Got dry skin? Try Emu Oil! Tommy and his little brother go into the grocery store. Tommy is nine and his little brother is four. Tommy reaches for a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it over to the register for check-out. The cashier looks at the box of tampons and asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" Tommy replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded, "Well then, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old responded, "No Ma'am, there are not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. If they are not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?" Tommy says "They're for my little brother here." The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??" Tommy explains: "I'm getting them for my little brother because they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!" Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a heck of a lot better than the penalty for murder. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? |