The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 8 - Number 7
April 14, 2007
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Little Tidbits 
Love is grand! Divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape. For your information, round IS a shape.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, You'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
A day without sunshine is like night.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.Visit Nancy at www.belovedembroidery.com. You can live in Arizona where [1] You are willing to park three blocks away because you found shade. [2] You can drive for four hours in any one direction and never leave town. [3] You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. [4] The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! You can live in California where [1] You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. [2] The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. [3] You know how to eat an artichoke. [4] You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. [5] When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. [6] The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought. You can Live in New York City where [1] You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. [2] You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. [3] You think a stroll through Central Park is "communing with nature." [4] You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. [5] You've worn out a car horn. [6] You think eye contact is an act of aggression. OR You can live in Florida where [1] You can eat your dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. [2] All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. [3] Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. [4] Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. [5] Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people. 
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Ideal Impressions © Join us in our Spring Forward Sale!! Enjoy 20% OFF Select Gifts! Hurry, sale ends April 30th! Treats from the 45th Parallel We just ordered a large shipment of Maple Roasted Almonds. If you have never had a Maple Roasted Almond now is the time. Eat them by themselves or use them for an ice cream garnish. Warmer weather is coming. They won't last long. EmuOil4Sale.com Don't cry because your skin is dry. Try emu oil products today. A Frayed Knot Come on in and check out our items. Find the perfect gift or pick up something for yourself. VintageStuff4U New to VintageStuff4u: paper ephemera collectibles from old 1st.Ed. books, atlases (1935 & 1898), Apollo 11 collectibles, cameras, and more. Something for everyone! Beloved Embroidery Jelly Bean Contest. Correctly guess the number of jelly beans and win a free gift. Visit our website for details. 1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. 2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you. 3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management . 5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/22. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many did this over and over). 8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response. 10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical questions? ... Anonymous. |