The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 8 - Number 9
May 12, 2007
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Ain't It The Truth? A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115" she says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 140. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she only 5'5". She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high. "Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!" Visit Nancy at www.belovedembroidery.com. 
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from, but he does realize that they have met once. So he says, "Do you know me?" She replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." He is suddenly shocked and his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party which who spent the night with me and all my buddies?? She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher." I came across this exercise suggested for older adults, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level now) Once you really start to feel confident at that level, put a potato in each sack. courtesy of Barb from Vir-Chew-All Enterprizez |
Designs with Fabric and Thread We specialize in handmade and one-of-a-kind items. Current inventory includes handmade dolls, pillowcase dolls, angels, cows, pigs, bunnies, shopping cart handle covers. Come see our website for additional information. Tea Boutique Collection Happy Mother's Day! Pamper yourself today with some of our Specialty Teas, Tea accessories and Homemade Bath & Body items! Drop shipping available! Shirt Encounter Visit the Shirt Encounter website to view the huge selection of personalized dog breed t-shirts and family novelty shirts. Grannys Book Box "Spring has Sprung and Gardening is Swinging". Check out Granny's Vintage OG and miscellaneous gardening magazines for inspiration and instructions. EmuOil4Sale.com Get your skin in shape for summer. Start moisturizing now with emu oil. Mamie's Rich Memories Decorate for Spring with vintage antiques and newer collectibles. Browse our nooks and crannies for good deals and always interesting items. Thanks! TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog. 
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