The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 9 - Number 7
May 3, 2008
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Our annual Mother's Day sale is still available for another few days by clicking here. Our QFLEA vendors have selected a number of wonderful items that are perfect for gift-giving on this special day. Take a look today. The Golfer Ed and Dorothy met while on vacation, and Ed fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue their relationship. "It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut," Ed said to his friend. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's a problem, you'd better say so now." Dorothy responded, "If we're being honest with each other, here goes ... I'm a hooker." "I see," Ed replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off." Visit Nancy at www.belovedembroidery.com. Here are the answers to the five brain teasers. 1. A condemned murderer has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? The answer is the room with the lions who have not eaten in three years. They're dead. 2. A woman shoots her husband. Then holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? The answer is that she is a photograph who shot him, developed the pictures, hung them to dry and then went out to dinner. 3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away? The answer is charcoal. 4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday? The answer is yesterday, today and tomorrow. 5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching! The answer is that while E is the most often used letter in the English language, no E was used in any of the words of this unusual paragraph. Congratulations to Maud Fennell, Diane Morgan and Kathleen Weaver who each got some or all of the answers. In a recent study conducted by Harvard University, they determined that the average American walks approximately nine hundred miles in one year. In a different study conducted by the American Medical Association, they found that Americans drink, on average, twenty two gallons of alcohol a year. This means, on average, Americans can be expected to get about 41 miles to the gallon. I wonder what the hybrids will get? |
Serenquility Bath & Body Shoppe New! Rustic Glycerin Soaps in 10 fantastic fragrances, lovely Perfume Oils and a Perfume Sampler Set! Our Garden Flowers Soap and Mother's Day Soaps are on sale for $5.99 each! Always a Little Behind Crafts Visit the almost all new Little Behind Crafts! Stuff for babies, kids, pets and more, plus a contest. Beautiful Silver Jewelry Mom's Day is May 11th! Give your Mom jewelry she'll love. And get 15% off all designer sterling silver gemstone jewelry!! In the space provided on the first page of the order form, enter code: 3129081112 , then click 'recalculate' to obtain your 15% off. Free gift boxing available! Mainely Twigs Mainely Twig has gorgeous Pussy Willow wreaths just in time for Mother's Day! Fresh and wonderful Spring wreath's for your special mom. Consider the following sentences. Read them aloud. 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose." ... George Carlin |