The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 9 - Number 9
May 17, 2008
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We just love childrens answers to all the grownup questions about angels. I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold. -- Gregory, age 5 Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. -- Olive, 9 It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. -- Matthew, 9 Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. -- Mitchell, 7 My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. -- Henry, 8 Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!! -- Jack, 6 Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. --Daniel, 9 When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado. --Reagan, 10 Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. --Sara, 6 Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. --Jared, 8 All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. --Antonio, 9 My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. --Katelynn, 9 Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.--Vicki, 8 What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. --Sarah,7 We received so many favorable comments on the last brain teaser that I thought you'd like to try another. See if you can figure out what these words have in common. 1 Banana 2 Dresser 3 Grammar 4 Potato 5 Revive 6 Uneven 7 Assess The answer will appear in the next edition. Mr. Clarke, I have reviewed this case very carefully, the Divorce Court Judge said, and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week. That's very fair, Your Honor, the husband said. And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself. A doctor examining the woman who had been rushed to the emergency room, took the husband aside, and said, I don't like the looks of your wife at all. Me neither Doc, said the husband. But she's a great cook and really good with the kids. |
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money in the first place?
Why do realestate people have to have their picture with the property they are selling?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why won't coffee creamer dissolve in cold coffee?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you idiot?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a Church's billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills."
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. ... Josh Billings. |