The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 7 - Number 22
December 9, 2006
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If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you then you look thinner.
Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls.
Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.
Our 2006 Holiday Special has launched. Each week we will bring you some of the vendors who are participating. Click through and see what they have to offer for the holidays! 
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line. "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!" "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?" Kids are really challenged these days with math. There are only ten numbers, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 (unless they discovered some new ones that I have not heard about) so even when combining them in different equations, math should not be as difficult as it is. However, kids still find the subject challenging. Now there is help. A new Math Help Line has been created to help those who need assistance with math. If you are having problems with any Math issues, the folks at the Math Help Line invite you to call them at any time at 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. |
Mainely Twigs Still time to order your Maine Balsam wreath featuring Winterberry, Cedar & Red Dogwood! Shipped fresh to your door from Northern Maine. Beloved Embroidery Our gift to you this holiday season - a 10% discount on all items. Enter "Holiday" (without the quotes) in the voucher box on our order form. EggCrazy.com Shopping for that hard to buy for person. Get them a decorated egg. They probably do not have one of those. ARK Embroidery 25% discount on total orders. Use coupon code christmas when checking out. An Occasional Chocolate 10% discount by mentioning Qflea! Buy your candy making supplies with us and mention Qflea in the shoping cart and get a 10% discount with any order! Rockwell Collector Plates Limited editon collector plates by Rockwell make wonderful gifts. Many series including Christmas, Heritage, Four Seasons and more at affordable prices. Treats From The 45th ParallelNot just for breakfast anymore. Canadian Maple Syrup can be used as tea or coffee sweetners or replace sugar for just about anything. Great stocking stuffers. Show that special someone how sweet you think they are. Classic Country Quilts 10% discount for Qflea shoppers! One-of-a-kind beautiful classic country Quilts. All made and ready to be shipped! This is a great gift for the special people in your life. Happy Holidays! CinnaMinnies Solid Cinnamon Collectibles The Cinna-Minnies and Friends FREE Holidays Specials Ebook has been posted on my website. Please accept this holiday gift and share it with all of your friends and family. It is a FREE gift and download. Yonnie's Gift Baskets There are not many shopping days until Christmas. Visit us for a wide variety of holiday gift baskets. Enjoy free shipping too! Space Coast T-Shirts Great gifts for Christmas and all gift occasions. T-shirts with animal, southwest, space shuttle and Red Hat designs. VS/MC/ DSC credits accepted on secure site. Initially You Too $5.00 OFF (purchase of $30+) & FREE SHIPPING on purchase of $75+.We create personalized heirlooms for all ages. Piggy banks, family sweatshirts, creative wine caddies, holiday platters. Parrot Island Soap Buy 3 get 1 free. Fun soaps for men, women, and children. Just use "FREESOAP" in the comment box by December 10. Free shipping in US. The Wear-with-All - Online Boutique Come on in and browse our exciting One-of-a-Kind, Handcrafted, Art-to-Wear Holiday Gifts. Still time to find something very special including jewelry, exclusive apparel, fun fashion accessories, home decor art at all price ranges for all ages. She turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. The computer finds that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't even a keyboard attached? No matter how you choose to celebrate Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanzaa, please be sure to spend some time reflecting on how you can also celebrate the people in your life. Giving and receiving gifts during this time of the year can be a warm, wonderful experience ... but it cannot compare to the joys of exchanging hugs, love and affection with those important to us, every day of the year! ... Charley |