The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 8 - Number 2
January 27, 2007
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The Helpful Spouse A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "Would you PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" The wife says, "Only when he's been drinking" Visit Nancy at www.belovedembroidery.com. "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." Courtesy of Sandy at www.designsbyoldcrow.com. 
A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South Africa, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is amazed by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist queries how old the temple is. "This temple is 1503 years old", replies the guide. The tourist is impressed at this accurate dating and inquires as to how the guide gave this precise figure. "Easy", replies the guide, "the archaeologists said the temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago" |
Visit the 2007 QFLEA Valentine's Day Special. Several QFLEA vendors are displaying special offers for the Valentine Day's holiday. Treats from the 45th Parallel Valentine's Day is coming. Show your special someone you give a crap give the gift of Chocolate Almond or Raisin Moose or Elk Droppings A Frayed Knot We have lots of unique handcrafted items; afghans, rag dolls, purses, candle holders, teddy bear pots. New items added all the time. Beloved Embroidery Valentine's Day is almost here. Make it special with one of our embroidered fabric drawstring bags. Four designs to choose from - even Cupid! Bellybutton Bears Memory Teddy Bears make great gifts ANY time of the year. Look at the gallery, read the testimonials and email us with your questions. Homestead Store & More Plan ahead for birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day.....check out our many custom items, and don't miss the magic mirrors! WicksWorks Candle Emporium This year enchant the love of your life with a divinely romantic Valentine's Day present - a fragrant and sensual soy and shea butter massage candle. Pat: Hey, Chris! How's that new pet fish of yours doing? Do you still think he's going to be as special as you originally thought he'd be? Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really starting to become disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird. Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? That's crazy. I can't believe it! Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish. Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris. While you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with this parrot fish. Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The problem is that he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me absolutely crazy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to tuna fish? The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family business ... Lyndon B. Johnson |