The Official Newsletter
of QFLEA.com
The Virtual Flea Market
Volume 8 - Number 3
February 10, 2007
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Life's Unanswered Questions 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw the revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose smart idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Visit Nancy at www.belovedembroidery.com. If you enjoy playing tic-tac-toe and challenging yourself with good trivia questions, then this link is for you. Buddy, a 6-year-old German shepherd mix, wandered into the emergency room at the Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Bellflower, Calif., in October after having just been hit by a car, and he resisted efforts to remove him, apparently waiting until someone attended to his injured hind leg (which turned out to be broken), according to local animal control officials interviewed by the Whittier Daily News. Owner Fabian Ortega was called by virtue of Buddy's implanted microchip, and a vet fixed him up. An unidentified man washing windows while tethered to security ropes at the 20th floor of the Fifth Third Bank building in downtown Nashville, Tenn., in November attracted attention when he remained motionless for about 30 minutes, but it turned out that he was just sound asleep. When fire rescue vehicles arrived, the noise awakened him, and he lowered himself to the street unharmed, according to a report in The Tennessean. In August, about a dozen masked men lugged six 40-gallon trash bags full of sauce packets into the Taco Bell on South Western Avenue in Marion, Ind., leaving a note explaining that they had been accumulating them for a while and decided to give them back. They suspected they had 25,000 packets.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. |
Kat's Store We carry a little bit of everything unique: gifts, jewelry, candles, christian items, bath items & more all at lowest possible prices everyday! Mamie's Rich Memories Decorate with antiques and collectibles. Choose from vintage pieces and newer decorative items. Large selection, interesting pieces, priced right! Treats From the 45th ParallelWe now offer gift certificates. Come see us Bear Family Gifts, LLC Be a part of the teddy bear revolution! Visit our site to see the finest in teddy bear gifts for any occasion and personalized customer service. Morgan Home Accents Distinctive quality products for your home and garden, including every imaginable kind of mailbox, Whitehall cast metal address signs, carved slates and more. Come visit and get 10% off. An acquaintance of mine, who is a physician, told this story about her then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough. The little girl thought about it for a few moments, and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery, to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon. " Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four year old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Oooooh .. I know what you've been doing." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." At the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all the cookies you want. God is watching the apples. Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman James for 51 years. |